


The Lake

by Chelsea072498



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Challenge squares filled, Cheating, Supernatural AU - Freeform, affair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 12:18:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20760248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelsea072498/pseuds/Chelsea072498
Summary: After an amazing summer at the Lake, a tragic accident brings Vanessa Winchester back to reality.BTZ Bingo Squares filledChapter 1 - Late night phone callChapter 16 - Second love





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BTZ Bingo squared filled in this chapter - Late Night Phone call

Chapter One

The phone rang, waking her from the blissful sleep. She smiled, hopeful it was him. She reached for the phone and saw the number was international. 

“Hello?” She sat up. “Sweetie?”

“It’s Mary.” Her mother in law’s voice came over the line. “I told Sam I’d call.”

“Mary? What’s going on?” Her eyes went to the clock. “It’s three…”

“There’s been an accident. Anastasia’s been hurt.”

“Hurt?” She jumped out of bed. “Hurt how? What happened?”

Mary Winchester was silent for a moment. “I don’t really know what happened. We’re heading back now. John and I went to Paris for a few days. Ana and Sam stayed behind.”

“Sam’s supposed to be in Munich this week.” Vanessa Winchester jumped out of bed and turned the light on. “He said she’d be with you and John. When I called her…” She paused. “She lied to me.”

“Vanessa, that isn’t important right now. You need to get here.” Mary saw her husband’s eyes. “It doesn’t look good.”

Vanessa stopped. “I’ll get there as soon as I can. Text me information.” She began crying. “Mary, stay with her until I get there.”

“Of course.” Mary promised. “I’ll let Sam know you’re on your way.”

Vanessa rushed around the room and threw everything she needed in a suitcase very quickly. She tried calling Sam, but it went directly to voicemail. After several attempts she called another number.

“Nessa? What’s wrong?” 

“Ana’s been in an accident. Your mother called. I don’t know anything except my baby is hurt and I’m not there.”

“What?” Dean Winchester jumped from his bed. “Mom and Dad were in Paris. Ana and Sam…”

“Sam’s supposed to be in Munich. That was the whole reason he went to Europe. To work. I let Ana go because your parents rented the chateau and I thought that maybe a summer away would be good for her. I had no idea that she wouldn’t be spending time with them…”

“I had no idea you didn’t know or I would have said something.” Dean was getting dressed. “I’ll meet you at the airport.”

“We can’t travel together!”

“She’s my niece.” Dean reminded her. 

“And we’ve been having an affair for the last six weeks. You’re my brother in law and I’ve been sleeping with you…” She stopped. “I know you’re going to come, but we have to go on separate flights.”

“Nessa, you don’t need to travel alone. Not like this. No one would suspect anything.” Dean sighed. “Meet me at the airport.”

“Dean…”   
  
Dean knew there was no time to be wasted. “I’ll meet you there. I’ll get the tickets. I’ll get you to Ana. I promise.”

~*~

Mary sat by her granddaughter’s bed and held her hand. “Sweet girl, please wake up.”

“Mary?” John slipped in the room. “I can’t get a hold of Sam.”

“Damn it.” Mary sighed. “We know he’s not in Munich.”

John took a deep breath. “We know what we saw last week. It’s up to Sam to tell Vanessa.”

Mary shook her head. “He won’t.”

A nurse came in. “Have you contacted her Papa yet?”

“We’re still trying.”

“The doctor will be in soon. Mademoiselle is resting now but the results are back.”

“Already?” John asked.

“Oui. The doctor will be in soon.”

~*~

Vanessa sat next to Dean as the plane flew across the country. She spoke to Mary before they took off and was told that Ana was being taken into surgery. The doctor told them it was a complicated procedure. Mary suspected that Vanessa would arrive before they finished the surgery.

“It’s going to be okay.” Dean assured her. He gently squeezed her hand. “She’s strong. Ana’s so strong.”

“She’s stubborn. Like a Winchester.” Vanessa forced a smile. “She’s going to be fine. The surgery is going to relieve the pressure and stop the bleeding. Anastacia is going to be just fine.”

“Yeah, she is.” Dean kissed her cheek. 

“By the time we get there, she’ll be sitting up, demanding her phone and barking orders at the nurses. They’ll be ready for me to take her home.”

Dean could see his niece doing just that. “We’ll be there, Babe.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Her dark eyes met his beautiful emerald eyes. “Thank you for being here for me. You always have been.”

“I’ve always been in love with you.”

Vanessa took a deep breath. “We have to be careful. It’s going to be hard to hide my feelings for you.”

“You have to.” Dean reminded her. “Nessa, now isn’t the time to talk about things, but we need to talk.”

“I know.” Vanessa laid her head on his shoulder. “We will. We don’t have a choice.”

“I don’t regret anything that happened this summer.”

“I don’t either.” Vanessa said. “This summer has been amazing. Being with you has given me a piece of myself back. I don’t feel trapped. I don’t feel like I don’t have a voice…”

“You’re married to my brother.”

“Not for long.” Vanessa whispered. “I can’t...I can’t stay with him. I know you love Sam. I do too. I’m not in love with him anymore. It’s not fair to him, or Ana, for me to stay and pretend things are alright.” She looked down. “I know that you and I may not be able to be together the way we would want, and I don’t think it would be fair to either of us to have to live in secrecy…”

“We’ll figure it out.” Dean promised. He knew something he hadn’t shared with Vanessa yet. He hadn’t had a chance and now wasn’t the time. 

It wasn’t the time to discuss any of this yet.

“How long?” She asked.

“Another four hours or so.” He told her. “Try and get some rest. I know it’s easier said than done, but Ana’s going to need you. You need to rest now while you can.”

~*~

When their cab arrived at the hospital, Dean told Vanessa to go while he paid the fare and gathered their things. She rushed inside and straight to the floor Mary said she and John would be waiting. Mary knew Dean was with her and was relieved.

Mary wasn’t sure Ana was going to make it.

“Mary! John!”

“Oh, Honey!” Mary jumped up. “She’s in recovery. The doctor should down soon to tell us what’s going on.”

Vanessa sighed. “She’ll be okay. She has to…”

“Sweetheart, sit down.” John took her hands and led her to a seat. “You need to know something.”

“John?”

“She looked bad.” He said. “I want you to be prepared. She’s pretty banged up.”

“What happened?”

Mary closed her eyes. She knew Vanessa was going to be angry. “She was on a motorcycle. She was speeding and lost control.”

“A motorcycle?! Where the hell…”

“It was Sam’s.” John told her. “And he was letting her drive it. I told him she was too young and she was to reckless but he insisted she could handle it.”

“I told him I didn’t want her riding on a motorcycle, let alone driving one!” Vanessa exploded and then composed herself. “Where is he? Why isn’t he here?”

“We haven’t been able to get a hold of him.” Mary was honest. “He’s in Munich…”

Vanessa pulled her phone out. “I’ll call the office. Hubert is there now. He’ll be able to find Sam.” She found the number in her contacts and the call connected in seconds. It took several minutes to get Hubert on the phone, but he was surprised to hear from Vanessa.

“Sam isn’t in Munich.” Hubert told her. 

“We must have misunderstood. He’s been working on a case for the company and has been commuting from France…”

“Vanessa, Sam’s not here.” He didn’t tell her the truth. Sam Winchester wasn’t working on any cases, anywhere. He had taken three months off for the summer. He claimed he needed to spend time with his wife and daughter before Ana started her last year of high school.

“Do you happen to know where he’s staying? A hotel, maybe he’s rented an apartment while he’s working…” The doctor came in. “Look, find him. Ana’s been in an accident. I flew into France to be with her. She needs her father.”

“I’m sorry, Vanessa. I’ll see what I can do.”

She ended the call and jumped up. “I’m Vanessa Winchester. How’s my daughter?”

“Madam, come with me.” The doctor said. “Your daughter is back in her room.”

Vanessa reached for Mary’s hand. “Let’s go see our girl.”

“Madam, just you for now. Her grandparents can join you after we’ve talked.”

Mary and John shared a look. Vanessa was confused, but followed the doctor. “Is she awake yet? What exactly were her injuries?”

“Has anyone reached Monsieur Winchester?”

“No.” Vanessa shook her head. “Tell me what’s going on with my daughter!”

“Mademoiselle has several broken ribs, her leg is broken, cuts, and bruises. We are most concerned about her head injuries. She had extensive bleeding.”

“And were you able to stop it?”

“Yes, Madam, but we don’t know the extent of the damage. We won’t until she wakes.” The doctor looked into her eyes. “Madam, we don’t know if Anastacia will wake up.”

“She will.” Vanessa said. “Ana is going to wake up.”

The doctor knew better than to argue with a mother. “Very well, please follow me. I’ll have a nurse bring her grandparents.”

“Her uncle is with us now too. He came from the states with me.”

“And her father?”

“He’s in Munich.”  _ Or he’s supposed to be....  _ Hubert’s words replayed in her mind. He said Sam wasn’t there.

“I hope you’re able to contact him soon.” The doctor stopped in front of a door. “I know the machine’s can be frightening.”

“I don’t care about that. I just want to see my child.”

“I worked in the states for many years. You aren’t hysterical like many of the women…”

“Hysterics won’t help anyone.” Vanessa said. “Please make sure my family is brought quickly.” She walked in the room and froze. 

Her seventeen year old looked like a small child in the huge bed. Her head was wrapped in a large white bandage, along with bandages on her arms. One of her hands was completely wrapped. There were wires everywhere. Vanessa took everything in as she rushed to her daughter’s side.

“Hi, Baby,” Vanessa touched her cheeks. “I’m here, Ana. I’m here. Grandma and Grandpa are here. Uncle Dean…” She stopped. “Baby, you have to wake up. You have to wake up so we can show everyone you’re going to be okay.”

The door opened and Dean walked in. He knew his parents would be there soon, but he wanted to check on Vanessa. He wanted to make sure she knew he was there.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He moved next to her. “You okay?”

“She’s so little.” Vanessa said. “She’s got broken ribs and broken bones…”

“Was the surgery a success?”

They stopped the bleeding but we won’t know anything else until she wakes up. She will. She’ll wake up very soon.”

“I know she will.” Dean kissed the top of her head. “Ana will wake up.”

The door opened and his parents joined them. “Dean!” Mary embraced her son. 

“Son.” John looked at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Dean looked back at his niece. “Where’s Sammy?”

John motioned for Dean to go outside with him. “We’ll be back with coffee.”

“What’s up?” Dean asked as soon as they were alone.

“Sam’s been MIA most of the summer.” 

Dean shrugged. “He’s been back and forth to Germany.”

“No, he hasn’t.” John hadn’t told his wife what he knew. “Sam took three months off. I don’t think Ana knew and I’m positive Vanessa didn’t. Sam’s been seeing someone.”

“He’s been…”

“I suspected it a long time ago. He rarely traveled for work and all of a sudden he’s going out of the country constantly. He’s spent at least ten months out of the last year over here.”

“Do you know who it is?”

John nodded. “Your mother and I saw him last week. We were going to talk to him about it and give him a chance to tell Vanessa himself. We saw him leaving a store with her.”

Dean ran his fingers through his hair. “Who? Who was it? Did you recognize her?”

“It’s Jessica, Dean. Sam’s been having an affair with his wife’s best friend.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Mary stood behind Vanessa and gently stroked her hair. “Is there anyone I can call for you? Your sister?”

“Jessica. I sent her a few texts but I haven’t heard from her.” Vanessa shook her head. “Where the hell is Sam? Why would he leave Ana alone? Did he? Hubert said he wasn’t in Munich.”

“I’m sure he’ll call soon. I’m sure there’s a good explanation.” Mary squeezed her shoulders. Vanessa’s hand came up to cover hers. Mary noticed the bracelet then. “How long have you had that?”

“What?”

“The bracelet. It was my mother’s. I gave it to Dean years ago.” Mary shrugged. 

“He gave it to me for my birthday last year. He said that he wanted to make sure it stayed in the family but he didn’t think Ana would appreciate it yet.” Vanessa forgot to remove it before she left for the airport. She knew once Sam returned home, she’d have to be more careful with it.

“I wish he would try and find love again.” Mary sighed. “I know he intended to give that bracelet to the woman he married. He realized as soon as they were married that Jo wasn’t the woman for him, though.”

“He loved her. He still does.” Vanessa said. “Dean realized that Jo wasn’t ready to grow up though. She was so young and she had plans she hadn’t factored a husband into.”

Mary smiled. “I’m so glad you and Dean are close. He needs friends. He has Cas and Benny, but I feel like those three are still competing against each other like they did in high school.”

“Dean’s been there for me, and Ana, whenever we need him.” Vanessa knew she had to be careful not to give anything away. “Damn it, Sam needs to be here.”

“I’ll find John and Dean. They can go look for him. I’ll make some calls.” Mary kissed the top of her head. “Text us if you need someone to come back.”

~*~

“Sam and Jessica?” Dean knew they’d had an affair years before, but Sam ended things when Vanessa became pregnant with Ana. 

“It’s going to kill Vanessa.” John said.

Dean would have agreed months before. Now, he stood, unsure of how Vanessa would feel about this. “I think we need to talk to Sam. He needs to be the one to tell her.”

“If we can find him. Your brother and I don’t always see eye to eye but I’ve realized that’s because we’re a lot alike. You and I are too, but you’re more like your mom in a lot of ways. This,” John shook his head. “I’ve never stepped out on your mom. I never considered it.”

“I know that, Dad. I can’t believe Sam would.” Dean stopped. Vanessa had been having an affair for months. With him. He knew he shouldn’t be outraged, or surprised.

John looked at his oldest son. He had questions but he was afraid of the answers. He had suspicions he’d never even shared with Mary. “We need to find Sam. Dean, I have a bad feeling. A real bad feeling.”

“Ana’s strong.”

“Dean,” John didn’t want to think the worst but he remembered how his granddaughter looked when they first arrived. “Ana’s strong, but we don’t know how bad it is. We won’t until she’s awake. We need to prepare just in case she doesn’t wake up.”

“Don’t you say that!” Dean exploded. “She’s going to wake up.”

“Dean…”

“Dad, she has to. Vanessa wouldn’t be able to survive that. Not with everything else.”

~*~

Vanessa held her daughter’s hand as she sang songs she knew her daughter loved. She told her stories about when she was a baby, and she tried texting and calling Sam every few minutes. A thousand thoughts went through her head. One stuck out among others. 

Sam was with someone else.

Vanessa wasn’t as angry that Sam would be seeing someone else. She knew that would be hypocritical. She was angry that Sam abandoned their daughter, left her alone with keys to a motorcycle, and now Ana was fighting for her life. If Sam was with someone else, did he think that woman was more important than his own child?

“Baby, your dad will be here soon.” Vanessa kept saying the words, but she knew it was an empty promise. She messaged several other people Sam worked with and finally told someone what happened. She knew that everyone was looking for him now. 

“Jessica answered.” Mary’s voice broke her from her thoughts. “She said she’ll be here soon.”

“Soon? It’ll take her at least twelve hours.” Vanessa sighed. “I told Marco about the accident and they’ve got everyone looking. Sam wasn’t in Munich.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Mary, he took three months off.”

“I know.” Mary said. “I thought you did too. He said you stayed behind because you and Ana needed time apart.”

“I stayed behind because Sam assured me that he would take Ana to Munich with him. He insisted that we needed a breather since he was traveling so much and…” Vanessa fought back her tears. “Ana and I were fighting a lot. She was trying to grow up too fast. She started dating a guy who was older…”

“She’s lashed out at you because you’re the one who has been there. She and Sam would fight more if he stayed home.” Mary’s tone was angry. “I don’t know where the hell he is and I’m pissed. We’ve all called, sent texts, left voice messages. He needs to be here.”

“He’ll be here soon.” Vanessa said. “Sam will be here soon, Ana will wake up, and we’ll all fly back home soon enough.”

“Vanessa,” Mary turned her around. “Darling, we have to start thinking about the possibility that Ana…”

“No. No!” Vanessa shook her head. “Absolutely not! Ana’s going to wake up and she’s going to be just fine.”

“Sweetheart, I want that. More than anything…”

“She’s going to be just fine.” Vanessa insisted. “She hasn’t woken up because her body knows she still has to heal. She’s going to wake up and demand some outrageous French cuisine that her father has gotten her hooked on.”

“I’m sure she will.” Mary smiled. 

Vanessa hugged her and finally let her tears fall. She cried for almost an hour before the door opened and Sam rushed in.

“What the hell happened?” Sam demanded. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I called her. We couldn’t find you and Vanessa needed to be here.”

“Where were you?”

“Munich.”

“You took three months off of work. You were in Munich. Where were you?”

Sam ignored her and walked to Ana’s bed. “What happened? Where’s the doctor?”

“She was in a motorcycle accident. Apparently you’ve been letting her drive one after I said that I didn’t want her on one at all.”

“I was here. You weren’t. She’s a good driver. Someone must have…”

“She lost control, Sam. Your father and I told you the bike was too big for her.”

Sam glared at the two women. “What I do with my daughter is none of your business.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t speak to your mother like that! She and your father were here with Ana until I got here. They had to take care of things until I arrived. They had to try and explain to everyone why a seventeen year old girl was allowed on a motorcycle without a parent present.”

“Shut up and leave me alone with my daughter.” Sam snapped. “Both of you. Leave.”

“Lower your voice. She can hear all of this…”

“She’s asleep.”

“She can hear us. We need to keep things positive and…”

Sam moved in front of her. “You aren’t needed, Vanessa. Leave. Now.”

“No.”

“I’ll have you thrown out.”

“Sam!”

Vanessa looked past him at Ana and took a deep breath. “I need a nap and a shower. I’ll be back soon.”

“You aren’t needed.”

Vanessa’s brow lifted. “She’s my child. I’m the one who gave birth to her. I’m the one who took care of her. I’m the one who has been there for her all of these years. You’re the one who travels and throws money and gifts at her to make up for missing the dance recitals and award ceremonies, and birthdays. You’re the one who takes her to Europe for the summer so she can run wild and ride motorcycles.”

“Shut your mouth you stupid bitch.” Sam grabbed her arm. “Yes, you are her mother, but I can make sure you never see her again.”

“Sam!” John and Dean entered the room. “Let go of her. Calm down. Vanessa isn’t to blame here.”

“Isn’t she?” Sam asked. “Ana hates her. That’s why she wanted to spend the summer with me.”

Vanessa grabbed her things and ran out of the room. Dean almost ran after her, but he knew that he couldn’t.

He decided he didn’t care.

“Dean needs to realize he doesn’t need to clean up my messes anymore. I’m more than capable of handling…”

“Apparently not.” John said. “We know about Jessica.”

“What about Jessica?”

“We saw you with her.” Mary told him. “Nessa doesn’t know. I wasn’t going to tell her, but especially not with Ana like this.”

“She doesn’t need to know. It’s none of her business.”

John stared at his son. He realized he didn’t know the man in front of him anymore. “Come on, Mary. We’ll come back later.”

“No need. I’m here. See to it my wife makes it home. Tell Dean thanks for taking care of things.”

“What happened to you?” Mary asked.

“Don’t,” John gently pulled her to the door. “Sam has become his own man, just like he always wanted. Unfortunately, he’s become a man I don’t think I want to know.”

~*~

Vanessa ran from the hospital across the street to a park. She raced in between people running and walking with their children until she found a bench and sat down. She put her head in her hands and allowed her tears to flow.

She felt hands on her back and knew before she looked up. She immediately turned and allowed him to take her in his arms. 

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart.”

“He was so cold.” Vanessa said. “He lied to me about work. He lied about Munich.”

“I wish I knew…”

“It doesn’t matter. I decided our marriage is over as soon as I fell in love with you. I knew seeing him again would be difficult, because I knew I’d have to tell him it’s over. I didn’t expect him to come in and act like that.”

“Sam’s…” Dean stopped himself. “I’m not going to try and make excuses for him. I can’t.”

“You never should have.”

“I love you, Vanessa.” Dean told her. “You’re married to my brother. I have been taking care of him, defending him, and making things better for him our whole lives. I can’t anymore.”

“Dean, I love you but Ana….”

“I know,” He touched her cheeks. “Once she’s better, we’ll take things one step at a time.”

Vanessa wanted to kiss him but she knew there was a chance someone else may wander upon them. “I need to shower.”

“Dad took me and our things back to the chateau.” Dean told her. “I grabbed one of the cars Sam rented for the summer. You need a nap and a hot meal.”

“I need to shower, change, and get back to my daughter.”

“You need to take care of yourself or you aren’t going to be any use to Ana.” Dean looked in her eyes. “Let me take care of you, Nessa, while I still can.”

She understood then.

Things with Dean would soon be coming to an end.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Sam held her hand but said nothing. He had no words. He saw the calls from his parents, Vanessa, and Dean. He didn’t bother to read the texts or listen to the voice mails. He hadn’t cared. It wasn’t until Bridgit tracked him down that he was forced to take the call. Mary reached Jessica around the same time but he made her stay behind. Sam pulled his phone out and sent the text. No reason to hide anything now. His parents knew. Dean would soon enough. He and Jessica discussed telling Ana the truth. She knew Jessica was in Paris but assumed she was working. She had no idea her father was spending most of his nights with her.

Jessica messaged back that she was already downstairs, hiding in plain sight. She was Ana’s godmother. She loved her as if she were her own child. Sam knew that Vanessa would question Jessica’s quick arrival, so he sent his brother a message and told him to keep Vanessa from the hospital that night. He insisted his wife needed rest and that they needed to take some time after seeing each other earlier. Sam knew he could explain his actions away by fear, stress, and exhaustion.

He knew he would still have to explain the last few months at some point but he knew that it was time to let Vanessa go. He loved her, but he was in love with Jessica and had been for years. Vanessa was beautiful, smart, a wonderful wife, amazing mother despite Ana’s complaints, and Sam was lucky to have had so many years with her. He just couldn’t fall back in love with her. He felt a sting of regret. Divorce was final in so many ways but he knew that Ana would always bring them together. Her graduation from high school, then college, her wedding, when she had children…

He looked down at the tiny girl in the bed and wondered if any of those things were options. Was Ana going to wake up? Was his little girl going to die?

“Sam?”

He looked over his shoulder and saw Jessica in the door. She saw his face and immediately rushed to take him in her arms as he cried. 

“It’s okay. I’m here. I’m with you.” She whispered. “We’ll take care of our girl. We’ll get her through this.”

~*~

Dean wasn’t surprised when Vanessa quickly fell asleep after she had a sandwich and some soup. Mary and John called. They were going to stay in a hotel across from the hospital. Dean called and booked two more rooms. Vanessa would want to be as close to her daughter as possible. He knew a room that close would make her feel better about leaving to take care of herself. 

Without thinking, he put her in the bedroom he would be using. Sam sent a text. He would be staying at the hospital that night and insisted that Vanessa get some rest. He apologized and said that he was upset and took it out on his wife and mother without thinking. Dean told him to stay away from the chateau and he’d bring Vanessa in the morning.

Dean stood in the shower as the hot water pelted his body. He remembered the day, three months earlier, when Vanessa showed up at his lake house the first time.

_ “Nessa?” _

_ “I’m sorry for just stopping by but I went to a bookstore out this way and thought I’d stop and say hi. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” _

_ “No, come in.” Dean felt himself tense. Vanessa was as beautiful as ever. She and Sam began dating in high school and married when they were twenty one, after she had Anastacia. Dean had never admitted to anyone, except his two best friends, but he fell in love with Vanessa after Sam left for Stanford and she stayed behind, pregnant and scared. He took her to her appointments, he was with her for child birthing classes. Sam’s flight was delayed the night Ana was born. Dean stepped in and ended up cutting the umbilical cord. They stayed close until Sam insisted she and Ana join him in California.  _

_ They moved back to Kansas and Sam accepted a job with an international law firm who opened an office in Lawrence on a whim. Sam ran the office successfully and soon was traveling the world. Dean and Vanessa met up for lunch, he took Ana to movies and went to all her school programs and recitals.  _

_ He also realized that he was never going to let go of his feelings for his brother’s wife. _

_ “I’m so lonely with Ana gone.” She confessed. She held up a bottle of wine. “I was hoping you’d help me drink this.” _

_ Dean laughed. “I don’t drink wine often, but I can’t turn down a glass offered by a beautiful woman.” _

_ Vanessa’s cheeks flushed. “I brought food too. I…” _

_ “It’s okay, Nessa. You don’t need to come up with an excuse or bring food. You know you’re always welcomed here.” _

_ “Thanks, Dean.” _

_ They went to the kitchen and soon were laughing as they sat on the counter and drank the wine. After the second glass, Vanessa looked up, a terrified look in her eyes.  _

_ “What’s wrong?” Dean asked. _

_ “I have to go.” _

_ “Vanessa?” _

_ “Dean, please,” She turned and he was close to her. Her eyes moved to meet his and they both felt the pull. Dean wanted to resist it, but Vanessa wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled his lips to hers. _

_ They stayed like that for awhile before he picked her up and carried her to his bedroom. He gently laid her down and looked at her. _

_ “I’ve wanted you for a long time, Vanessa. If this isn’t what you want, if you think you’ll have any regrets….” _

_ She pulled him down and kissed him passionately. Their hands roamed each other’s bodies as they explored and learned everything they could. She begged him to make love to her and he obliged. He was gentle and paid attention to everything that night. Vanessa let herself forget her life and by the next morning, she knew she was in trouble. _

_ “I love you.” She told him. _

_ “I love you, Nessa. God, I have for so long…” _

_ “What about him?” She asked. “I’m married to your brother.” _

_ “You’re not happy, are you?” He asked. _

_ She shook her head. “No. I haven’t been for a long time. I love him but it’s not the same. It’s nothing like,” She stopped herself. _

_ Dean kissed her. “We have the summer. Let’s take it. We’ll enjoy this time and we’ll figure things out together.” _

_ “This is crazy. I came over because I didn’t want to be alone. I always turn to you…” _

_ Dean smiled. “I’m glad you did. Whatever happens, we have this. We have last night and the next few months.” _

_ “I wanted a divorce before I came over here. I didn’t come over here to sleep with you.” _

_ “I know.” Dean assured her. “We’ll figure it out. Let’s just enjoy this for now.  _

He sighed, remembering the days they spent at the lake. He remembered the nights they made love and talked about a future neither was sure they would be able to have. She told him she always wanted more kids but it never happened. Sam was content with Ana so she never made a huge deal about it. Dean confessed that he missed his son, Ben, and hoped that he’d move to Lawrence after he finished school. They talked about taking vacations, starting traditions, and things he knew might not be possible.

He was in love with his brother’s wife and she loved him.

Dean wasn’t sure if they would be able to move on together without alienating everyone they loved.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

“You need some fresh air.” Jess insisted. “You need to stretch your legs and get something to eat.”

“I’m scared to leave her.”

“It’s okay.” She pulled him up. “The doctor said her vitals are good. She won’t wake up tonight, Sam. They gave her medicine to keep her sedated through the night. She’ll be okay for a little while. You need a break.”

“Vanessa would kill me if she knew I left.”

Jess knew he was half right. “Vanessa wouldn’t want her alone but she would want you to take care of yourself. Dean’s got her, you’ve got me.”

“Jess, everything…”

“We’ll get through this and then we’ll tell her the truth. We have to.” Jess smiled. “It’s not fair to anyone but Vanessa deserves to know so she can move on with her life.”

“What if Ana hates me?”

Jess shrugged. “She’s seventeen. She really hates everyone, Sam. She’ll be angry, but she’ll eventually realize that you and Vanessa aren’t happy.”

“I love her.”

“I know you do. I love her too. You fell out of love with her at some point and that’s okay. It happens.”

“I think I need to stretch. Grab a nurse. If Vanessa comes back and Ana’s alone, she’ll never forgive me.”

  
  


Jess nodded and found someone to sit with Ana for a few minutes. She led Sam out of the room. Just before they reached the elevator, he pulled her into an open utility closet.

“Sam?”

“It’s late. No one is coming.” He was sure of himself. He kissed her as he lifted her. She wrapped her legs around him and he pushed her against the wall. He pulled her skirt off and smiled when he realized she was not wearing anything else.

She opened his pants and he slid in easily. He needed the release more than ever and she knew exactly what to do with her own body to get them both there quickly.

“This was risky.” She told him as they straightened up moments later.

“I know but I needed you.” Sam kissed her. “I love you, Jess.”

“I love you, too, but we have to be careful. If anyone catches us before we have a chance to tell Vanessa, this may not go in our favor.”

Sam knew she was right, but his parents knew. He was sure Dean knew by now. He didn’t care. Jess and Ana were his whole world. 

“Everything is going to work out exactly the way we want it to.”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five 

Vanessa rolled over and saw Dean standing at the window. “Did you sleep?”

He turned and smiled. “Actually, yes.” He walked to the bed and sat next to her. “You were out.”

“I didn’t realize how exhausted I was. What time is it?”

“It’s only six. Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat while you shower.” Dean kissed her softly. “I love you.”

“I love you. Thank you.” She grabbed his hand. “We have to be more careful.”

“I know.” He sighed. “I made reservations for the hotel Mom and Dad are staying out. It’s right across the street from the hospital. Adjoining rooms.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“Yeah, it is.” They stared into each other’s eyes. “Nessa, this is harder than I thought it would be.”

Vanessa moved the blanket and got out of the bed. “Where’s my bags?”

“Over there.”

“We can’t do this right now. I want to be with you. I want you next to me while I wait for Ana to wake up. I want us to take her home…”

“To the lake house.”

“To the lake house,” Vanessa’s eyes filled with tears. “I love you so much. I really do.”

“I know. You have to focus on Ana now. We all do.” He walked to her. “I’ll get you some breakfast. Take your time.”

“I’ll grab something later. I want to get to Ana.” She grabbed her things and rushed into the bathroom. Once alone, she took a few few minutes to compose herself.    
  


She needed to focus on Ana. Getting Ana better was the goal. Once she was well enough to take home, she’d think about everything else. 

As she rushed through her shower, Vanessa couldn’t help but think of Dean. Her heart ached knowing that things were already different. Every moment spent together had been a beautiful, precious gift she knew she’d never find again. Vanessa knew it was time to face reality though.

Her marriage was over. She knew she couldn’t go back to the way things were before the beginning of the summer. There was no way she could divorce Sam and then move on with Dean. It was an impossible situation and one that would hurt too many people.

She dressed, gathered her things, and then went downstairs. Dean was on the phone and hung up as soon as he saw her.

“Nessa?”

“I’m ready.”

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. I just want to see my girl.” 

Dean studied her face. He knew her. Unlike Sam, Dean always knew when Vanessa was happy, sad, mad, hurt-Dean knew Vanessa better than anyone. “I’m scared too.”

“Dean?”

“Things are going to change until Ana’s okay. I am here for you.”

Vanessa touched his cheek and smiled. “Thank you.”

“You’re ready?”

“Yeah, I need to see my baby.”

“I’ll drop you off and go to the hotel. It’ll give you and Sam a few minutes to talk.” Dean was curious if Jessica was there yet. He suspected she went to the hospital as soon as Vanessa left.

“One day, I’d like to come back here. Not to this chateau, but to France. I want to bring Ana back and make better memories.”

“I think we could do that.” Dean smiled. “It may take some time, but everything is going to work out.”

“I know.” She kissed him after they got into the car. “Thank you.”

“Thank you, Vanessa. You’ve given me hope again for the first time in a long time.”

~*~

Sam heard the door open and jumped. “Vanessa?”

“Sorry.” She had a cup of coffee for him. “Here.”

“Thanks.” He took a long sip of the hot liquid. “Last night…”

“Emotions were high. Ana’s in the hospital and I know seeing her like this is hard.” Vanessa walked to the other side of the bed. “It’s killing me. I’d trade places with her in a heartbeat.”

“So would I.” Sam sighed. “I should explain…”

“We have a lot to talk about, but not right now.” Vanessa took one of Ana’s hands and reached out for his hand. “Right now, we focus on our baby.”

“Vanessa, the nurse said that the sedatives should have worn off a few hours ago. She’s breathing on her own, but she’s not waking up.”

“She will.”

Sam didn’t want to say these words. He didn’t want to think them. “Nessa, the doctor’s coming in soon and we may need to be prepared for news we don’t want.”

“She’s going to wake up. Anastacia’s going to be okay.”

Sam started to say something but the door opened and the doctor stepped in. He asked them to step back so he could examine Ana. He spoke French to the nurse who nodded and rushed from the room.

“What? What’s going on?” Vanessa asked.

Sam understood. “They want to do some tests.”

“We stopped the bleeding and believed that would stop the swelling. It’s possible that I’m wrong, but Mademoiselle should be awake by now. I did explain that we don’t know what her condition will be when she wakes, but I expected her to be awake already.”

“I’ll come…”

“No, Madam. We will take good care of her.” The doctor looked at Sam. He realized that Sam understood French and was sorry he hadn’t spoken German. “I will speak with you very soon.”

Several people came in and soon Vanessa stood alone in the room with Sam.

“What did they say?” Vanessa looked at him. “I know you understand everything they said…”

“He’s worried about the swelling. Theoretically, the bleeding has stopped and the swelling should have stopped. The doctor thinks there’s another bleed or the swelling hasn’t stopped.”

“But they would have..wouldn’t he have known if there was more bleeding?”

“I don’t know, Vanessa.” Sam looked at her, fear in his eyes. “Vanessa, we need to be prepared…”

Her hand connected with his cheek. “How dare you say that! How dare you think that!”

“Vanessa, calm down!” Sam grabbed her. “We don’t know anything yet…”

“What’s going on?” Dean stood in the doorway.

“They took Vanessa for tests. They think…” Vanessa collapsed in tears. Sam wrapped his arms around her as she slid to the floor. Dean took a step toward her, but Sam put his hand up. 

“We need a few minutes.” Sam said. “Call Mom and Dad. Just in case.”

~*~

They sat on the floor together for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts. Little did they know they were thinking about the same night.

_ “You know you’ve spoiled her.” Vanessa smiled at her husband. “This party is too much. The car is too much.” _

_ “I admit, a pink SUV is a bit much. I want her to have a reliable vehicle though.” _

_ Vanessa looked around the reception hall. “Sam, she’s going to love all of this.” _

_ Sam nodded. “I hope so. I have to leave for London in two days. I’ll miss her volleyball game.” _

_ Vanessa tried not to get upset. “Ana will understand.” _

_ “I hope so.” He checked his phone. “Dean said they’re pulling up now.” _

_ “You know she was hurt that Dean wouldn’t give up the Impala.” Vanessa laughed. “I told her that he wouldn’t give that car to Ben. There was no way in hell he would give it to her.” _

_ “Actually he was going to. I told him not to worry about it.” _

_ Vanessa looked at him, shocked. “Why would he do that? Why would you tell him no?” _

_ “That car is too old for Ana.. She needs something newer.” Sam walked toward the door. “I can’t wait to see her face when she walks in.” _

Sam remembered how happy his little girl was with her Sweet Sixteenth party. She insisted on inviting most of the school. Sam insisting on inviting clients who lived in Kansas, and Vanessa insisted on making sure that Ana was appreciative. Sam looked at Vanessa, who was sitting with her knees to her chest, and remembered the fight she had with Ana about gifts.

_ “You don’t need anything! Your father and I make sure you have what you need!” _

_ “It’s not about what I need, Mom! It’s my birthday!” _

_ Vanessa kept her composure though Sam knew she was irritated by their daughter’s insistence. “Anastacia, you have everything you could ever want and need and more. Asking for your guests to bring a donation to the children’s hospital is a good thing. If not for that hospital, you may not have lived.” _

_ “So I owe them sixteen years later?!” _

_ “Listen to your mother.” Sam ended the discussion. “I’ll buy you a car.” _

Vanessa remembered the fight also. She remembered feeling defeated even though Ana agreed to the donations for the hospital. Sam bribed her with something even more expensive in order to get her to cooperate.

“How long has it been?” She asked.

“An hour.”

“Something’s wrong.” Vanessa closed her eyes. “Something’s wrong, Sam. They would have brought her back…”

“Maybe she’s awake and they’re checking her first. Maybe there was a wait…” The door opened and the doctor walked in. Vanessa stood slowly, scared she may fall. She saw the door open and the rest of the Winchesters slip into the room. 

“Where is she?” Vanessa asked. “Where’s my daughter?”

“Vanessa, give him a second.” Sam grabbed her hand.

“She is being prepped for surgery. We won’t know exactly what’s happened until we begin the procedure. Mademoiselle has a second bleed, this one hidden from when we found the first. This is rare but it happens.”

“She’ll need another surgery?” Sam asked.

Vanessa slowly processed what this could mean. “Will she survive another surgery?”

The doctor looked from one parent to the other. “If she doesn’t have surgery, she won’t survive at all.”

“Do it.”   
  
Sam looked at her, stunned. “Vanessa, she’s already had one major surgery…”

“Can you save her?” She asked the doctor.

He was honest when he answered. “I don’t know. If I don’t do the surgery, she will die.”

Vanessa looked at Sam and he nodded. “Do it. Do whatever it takes to save our daughter.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

_ “Uncle Dean, why don’t you have a girlfriend?” _

_ Dean stopped and looked at his niece. “You’re supposed to be focusing on the road.” _

_ Ana rolled her eyes. “I am. I’m just curious. My friends all think you’re really hot. No one understands why you don’t have a girlfriend.” _

_ Dean thought for a few minutes before answering. “I fell in love a long time ago but things weren’t meant to be. I married Jo when I knew it wasn’t right. Lisa and I had Ben after a weekend together. I just don’t have luck in that department so I decided not to waste my time.” _

_ “Lame!” Ana shook her head. “What about Aunt Jess? She’s gorgeous and successful and…” _

_ “No. Not happening.” Dean cut her off. He’d never admit it to his niece, but he couldn’t stand her mother’s best friend for numerous reasons. “It’s just a big idea. Too much history there for us to work, I think.” _

_ “You mean, because she and Dad had an affair?” _

_ “Pull over.” Dean commanded. Ana pulled into a parking lot and shut the car off. “That was a long time ago.” _

_ “Mom and Dad don’t know that I know. I saw Dad and Aunt Jess one night.” Ana shrugged. “Maybe if Mom was a better wife…” _

_ “Your mother is amazing, Anastasia. Don’t you forgot that.” Dean snapped. “You’re old enough for me to say this to you. You’ve been treating your mother like crap for a while now and it needs to stop. She’s not a doormat for you, or your father, to step all over. I’m sick and tired of seeing Vanessa get the short end of the stick.” _

_ “Mom makes things difficult!” _

_ “Your mother makes you accountable and your father doesn’t pay attention to what you’re doing. Ana, if it wasn’t for Vanessa, you’d be in pretty bad shape.” _

_ She was quiet for a few minutes. “Okay, I’ll try and get along with her.” _

_ “Thank you.” Dean sighed. “Let’s go get some food.” _

_ “I told Mom you’d feed me!” _

_ “You’re the only person who will share a large pizza with me in public!” _

_ ~*~ _

_ Jessica walked into the kitchen wearing a shirt silk robe and nothing else. She opened the fridge to grab some fruit and closed it to see Ana’s face.  _

_ “I had a feeling you and my dad were screwing each other.” Ana’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you’d have enough class not to do it with me in the house.” _

_ “Grow up, Ana.” Jessica sighed. “Your mother is pathetic. Sam doesn’t love her. I don’t think he ever did.” _

_ “You’re supposed to be her best friend.” Ana left for France angry with her mother and anxious to get away from her. Unless John and Mary were around, she was ignored. Ana realized that her mother constantly nagging her, asking her to spend time together, insisting on eating together, wasn’t something to hate. It was something she loved.  _

_ “Vanessa and I have grown apart.” _

_ Ana’s brow raised. “You forget to tell her that?” _

_ “You’ve been lying to her all summer, haven’t you?” _

_ Ana had, but she refused to back down. “I’m going home. Today.” _

_ “You’re not going anywhere!” Jessica grabbed her arm. She knew Sam wasn’t ready for his wife to learn the truth and their plans would be ruined if Vanessa learned anything before he was ready. “You’re not leaving France!” _

_ “Watch me!” Ana pulled away. “I know Dad said he planned to go away this week. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone what I know. I want to go home. I want to see my mom and go to the lake.” _

_ “You’d rather spend your summer with your loser uncle than in this beautiful country?” _

_ “I would rather not stay and watch my father throw everything away for a manipulative slut like you.” _

_ ~*~ _

_ Ana tried calling Vanessa but realized it was almost eleven back home. She was probably in bed or heading there and didn’t have her phone turned up. She didn’t bother to pack a suitcase. Ana had everything she needed in her backpack. Her passport, license, and credit cards would get her out of the country before her father woke up.  _

_ She knew better, but she grabbed the keys to the motorcycle. She’d send her father a text just before she boarded the plane. Ana smiled to herself. She’d been awful to her mother for years, because she wanted her dad’s approval and Sam seemed to agree with her criticisms. No more. Ana’s eyes were wide open now.  _

_ Setting out on the long, dark road, she turned the lights on and accelerated quickly. She loved driving the bike but knew this was the last time. Her mother hated motorcycles and Ana knew that part of rebuilding their relationship would be respecting her mother’s opinion on that and waiting until she was older.  _

_ ‘Just got take this turn perfect one last time’ she said to herself as she revved the engine and put her foot all the way down on the gas.  _

_ She let out a scream of excitement until she saw the truck coming straight at her. The driver was asleep and the truck was veering into her lane. Ana couldn’t stop. She was going too fast. There was nothing she could do as her bike and the truck met head on and she flew through the air, screaming for her mother the entire time _


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Vanessa stared at the water. She knew coming here was dangerous, but she had to. The flight home from France had been long, miserable, and uncomfortable. It didn’t matter that Sam was able to get a private plane courtesy of the senior partners at the firm. It didn’t matter that she was surrounded by family and her best friend. 

Sam attacked her the moment the plane took off.

Everyone was still in shock, even three days after the doctor walked in and spoke the words they’d feared but could never have been prepared for. Ana was gone. Her baby girl died on the operating table. The doctor said that once they started the second surgery, it was clear that she would not survive her injuries from the accident. Sam stormed out. He called his father later that night to tell him arrangements were being made to fly everyone home. He wanted to be left alone until then.

Vanessa insisted on seeing Ana as soon as Sam left. The doctor and nurses tried to persuade her to wait, but after several moments, the doctor gave in. Dean started to go with her, but Mary stepped in. Vanessa spent an hour with her daughter before they asked her to allow them to prepare her for their journey home.

Sam’s words turned her blood cold. He accused her of being a horrible mother. If Vanessa had tried to understand her better, she wouldn’t have wanted to spend the summer abroad. She wouldn’t have wanted to rebel. Ana would still be alive if Vanessa had just backed off. 

She was stunned into silence. Dean wanted to say something, but his father jumped in immediately. He asked Sam who allowed Ana to ride motorcycles. He demanded his son explain why his daughter had limited supervision over the summer. Sam told him to mind his own business. Eventually the screaming match between father and son ended with Mary pulling her husband to the other side of the plane. Dean asked Vanessa if she needed anything, but she didn’t respond. She stared at the passing clouds while tears fell down her cheeks. Dean saw Jess watching Sam and knew his brother would not be going home when they landed.

No one was prepared for Sam’s parting words to his wife.

“You are not welcomed in my home. Find somewhere else to stay.”

Mary and John insisted she come home with them. Dean finally found his words.

“She’s coming home with me.” Dean said. “She’s coming home where she belongs.” He saw the look his parents exchanged and said they would talk about it later. Vanessa shook her head. She said she’d stay in a hotel.

“You’re coming home with me,” Dean touched her cheeks. “You belong with me. At the lake. Let me take care of you.”

Vanessa looked at Mary and John, fresh tears in her eyes. Instead of anger or judgment, she saw understanding.

“Go home with Dean.” Mary kissed the top of her head. “We’ll come by tomorrow.”

Now, only hours later, she sat and stared. Her daughter was gone. Her marriage was over. She sighed and knew that coming home with Dean made a statement. Mary and John were the only ones who knew where she was but eventually, Sam would have to know. Vanessa took a deep breath. In the blink of an eye, her entire world was turned upside down and she knew there was nothing she could do to stop it.

“Vanessa?” Dean sat next to her. “I made some dinner.”

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”

Dean looked at her. “Do you really think that I’m going to give you a choice? Sweetheart, you need to keep your strength up.”

“I know, but I…” She stopped. “Sam and I need to talk. Our marriage is over but we need to stand together one last time for Ana.”

“I get it.” Dean reached for her hand. “I called him. I told him you were staying here tonight at least. He said he wants you to come home tomorrow to help him plan the funeral. Jess apparently had a few things to say to him.”

“I’m not the only one who noticed she left with him.” Vanessa shook her head. “He’s sleeping with her again.”

“Does that...bother you?”

“Not in the way you may think.” Vanessa squeezed his hand. “Jess was supposed to be my best friend and she betrayed me once before. We all moved on. I found something with you, Dean. Something I need and want. It was complicated before, and it’ll be complicated still, but I’m not angry they are having an affair. I’d be a hypocrite. I’m angry because I’m sure she was there this summer and I’m sure Ana saw her. I’m angry because I’m sure that Sam and Jess flaunted their relationship in front of her. Ana may not have cared. She adores...adored her father and hated me.”

“She loved you.” Dean told her. “I know things could get pretty intense between the two of you, but Ana loved you. I think eventually, the two of you would have been close again.”

“Won’t happen now.” Vanessa wiped her eyes and stood up, pulling him with her. “Maybe some food, a shower, and sleep would be a good idea.”

Dean gently kissed her. “I won’t push anything, Nessa. I just want to be here for you. I want you to know that you have someone to lean on.”

“Thank you,” Vanessa touched his face. “I need you, Dean. In so many ways. I need to get through this week. I need to get through the…” She stopped. “I want to tell Sam the truth but not until after we take care of Ana.”

“I’ll be there with you.”

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”

Dean shrugged. “He’s going to have to get used to it, Vanessa. I’m not going anywhere.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Sam picked at the food in front of him. Jess took a small bite of hers and sighed. “We need to eat something.”

“I know.” Sam finally took a bite. “This is good.”

“Thanks.” Jess shrugged. “I just ordered it. I haven’t been home in weeks. You know that.”

“I couldn’t go back to the house, Jess. I’m not ready. Vanessa could also decide to go home. Dean offered her a room, but she won’t want to put him out. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have let it go.”

Jess shook her head. “You had a right to say anything you want, Sam. You just lost your daughter.”

“We.” Sam’s tone changed. “Vanessa and I lost our daughter. You may not want to acknowledge that, but I can’t ignore it. She is Anastasia's mother and she’s hurting. I was angry and I was hurting and I lashed out. I shouldn’t have. There were better ways for me to handle myself.”

“She’s a big girl. She’ll get over it.”

“Get over what, exactly?” Sam wanted to know. “Losing Ana or losing me?”

“Both.” Jess looked into his eyes. “She’ll move on…”

“She won’t forget her. I’ll never forget her.” Sam grew angry. “Do you not understand what’s happened here? My daughter is dead, Jess! She’s gone. Ana’s not spending the night with a friend or visiting Dean at the lake. She’s never coming home. There’s an emptiness in my heart that will never be full again.”

“You say that now, but eventually…”

“What? We’ll have a kid?” Sam challenged her. They both knew that wasn’t going to happen.

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts but eventually, you’ll both have to move on. You’ll both have to start living again.”

Sam stared at the woman he loved. He knew she was selfish. “You have to understand that it’s not going to happen overnight. I can’t think straight right now. It hurts, Jess. More than you could possibly imagine.”

“I’m sorry, Baby.” Jess stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

“Things aren’t going to be easy. We knew that. Vanessa may not fight me or she may decide to give me hell.”

“Vanessa doesn’t have the backbone, Sam. She’ll do whatever you tell her to. She won’t have much of a choice.” Jess kissed his cheek. “Sam, there’s a chance she’ll want this as much as you do.”

Sam wasn’t sure anymore. “There’s a chance she won’t. Vanessa may want to hold onto me because of Ana.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to hang onto her because of Ana?” Jess asked. “Are you sure you want the divorce? Are you sure you ever wanted the divorce?”

~*~

Vanessa paid the cab driver after he helped her with her bags. It was early morning, Dean was still asleep when she left and she hoped he would understand when he read her note. She needed to be close to Ana. The first room she went to was her daughter’s. As soon as she turned on the light, her body filled with dread and she raced to the closest bathroom.

There wasn’t much in her stomach, but she felt like she hovered over the toilet for hours. Her grief was making her physically sick. Eventually, she was able to stand up, clean herself up, and walk back to the doorway.

Vanessa walked to her closet and picked out one of Ana’s favorite dresses. She wore it once, for family pictures Mary insisted they all get only a few month before. There was never another opportunity for her to wear it and Vanessa knew Sam also loved the dress. She laid it on Ana’s bed and went to her own jewelry box. She found the pearl earrings, necklace, and bracelet immediately. Her mother left those for Ana with instructions she receive them when she married.

_ She’ll never get married… _

_ She’s not going to graduate… _

_ She won’t pack up to move away for college… _

_ She’ll never have a child of her own… _

Vanessa sank to the floor and let her tears fall. Her daughter’s life was over before it began. Vanessa felt as if her own life was over in many ways. For seventeen years, her main role was mother. She no longer had a child. She no longer had someone who would need her. 

“Hey,” Strong hands pulled her close. “I’m here.”

“I…”

Sam held her close and let his own tears fall. Whatever words had been spoken, whatever thoughts had been had, in the moments they held each other on the bedroom floor, they were two parents mourning the loss of a child they loved more than anything else in the world.

“I don’t know what to do.” Sam confessed.

“Me either, but we’ll do it.” Vanessa forced a smile. “We’ll make sure that the arrangements are perfect and the service beautiful and everything our precious girl deserves.”

“She deserved so much better than this.” Sam wiped his tears. “You deserve better. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything…”

“We have to talk about a lot, Sam. Not now. Let’s get through the next few days and we’ll sit down and discuss the rest.” Vanessa took a deep breath. “I am moving out, Sam.”

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“I’m going to stay with my Aunt.” Vanessa answered. “Just until I have a plan.”

“You can stay here…”

Vanessa shook her head. “Sam, I love you. I always will. I’m not in love with you and you’re not in love with me.”

“Why would you say anything like that?” Sam stared at her, in shock. “Vanessa…”

“I know we said we weren’t going to do this now, but I know. I know about Jess. I’m not angry.”

“You’re not?” Sam didn’t even try to deny it.

“I want you to be happy. I believe Ana would want you to be happy.” Vanessa moved and stood. “Sam, you and I have lived separate lives for a long time. I believe we’ll always be a part of each other’s lives, but we need to let go of us before us gets really bad.”

“I thought things were bad.” Sam managed a small smile.

“Yeah, but it could always be worse.” Vanessa grabbed a large suitcase from her own closet. “I know we’re not supposed to make any decisions right now, but…”

“I’m sorry. I love you, but I love her. I tried to stop it from happening again. We tried…”

“Did Ana know?”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t think so. If she suspected anything, she didn’t say anything to me. Jess and I were very discreet.”

“Be happy, Sam.” Vanessa gave him a small smile. “I plan to be.”

He nodded but stopped. He looked into her eyes and the realization hit him. 

“You’ve met someone.”

“Sam…”

“Have you met someone?” He rose to his feet. The look in his eyes could only be described as confusion. “Vanessa?”

“I’ve fallen in love with someone else, Sam. I knew we would have to have a discussion before...everything happened. I wanted to wait.”

“You can handle the arrangements?”

“Yeah.” Vanessa was surprised. “Sam?”

“I need to go see Brady and start the paperwork.” He stopped and looked back. “You’re sure you want to do this?”

“Yes. I love you, but I don’t think we have a marriage left anymore. I don’t want you out of my life, but I think we would be better off in the long run.”

“You really love him?” Sam asked.

“Yes.” 

Sam had to ask. “Do I know him?”

“Sam…”

“Vanessa…”

“Can we have that discussion another time?” Vanessa felt sick again. “Please.”

Sam started to say no but stopped. “Yeah, yeah, we can talk about that later. I’ll go into the office and get Brady to start everything for us. Non-contested in Kansas would take two months.”

“I don’t want anything, Sam. I don’t want money, the house…”

“You’re not getting away without something, Nessa. You need a car. You need money.”

Vanessa knew he was right, but she knew he might change his mind. “Sam, I have my money from my inheritance. I never touched it. You’ve always been generous.”

“I’ll call later.” 

Vanessa heard the front door open and close. She walked to the window and watched Sam slide into the driver’s seat. She saw him on his phone and knew he was calling Jess.

~*~

“Are you okay?” Jess asked.

“Vanessa and I are getting divorced. I’m heading into the office to talk to Brady.” Sam sighed. “She knew about us.”

Jess froze. Had Ana called before her accident? Did someone say something? “Sam?”

“She’s not angry. She met someone. I don’t think she’s been seeing him long, whoever he is. She was always home before, or with me or Ana. I guess she met him while we were away. I know Vanessa. She wouldn’t have gotten involved with anyone if Ana had been here…”

Jess knew that also. “She wouldn’t have had the time.”

“My marriage is over. Two months and the divorce should be final. Vanessa knows, my parents and Dean know. I need you to give me time.”

“How much time, Sam? I’ve been giving you time for years.”

“Jess?”

“Come back to my place when you can. I’ve got to run to the store for a few things. I’m assuming Vanessa’s taking care of everything?”

“Yes.” Sam couldn’t believe it was only eight. “I’ll see you soon.” He wondered if they’d stay in her place or find something else. He knew they would be selling the house. He would never stay there again. Sam had a feeling Vanessa wouldn’t either. He realized there was a lot to talk to Brady about and hoped that things really would be as easy as he thought.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Vanessa shook hands with the funeral director and thanked him. Everything was arranged and she hoped Sam wouldn’t resent her choices later. In three days, they would say goodbye to their daughter for the last time. Two months later, they would be divorced. 

Her bags were in her car and she knew she should go to her aunt’s house, but instead took the road leading to the lake. She needed to see him. She needed him to know what was happening. Vanessa smiled through her tears. Dean was the only bright spot through all of the darkness in her life at that moment. She knew that breaking the news to Sam would not be easy but Vanessa knew she deserved a chance at happiness.

Dean was sitting outside when she pulled into the drive. He stood and she smiled at the sight of him. He was wearing jeans and a black tee shirt. He had a bottle of beer in one hand and his other hand in his pocket. She got out of the car and looked at him.

“Hi,” She said as she walked up to the stairs to the porch. “I’m home.”

“Hey,” He smiled. She realized something was bothering him right away. “Are you okay?”

He put his beer down and pulled her into his arms. He held her tight for a long time before he kissed the top of her head. “I’m fine. Mom and Dad came by.”

“Oh?” Vanessa saw his eyes. “Dean?”

“They know about us. They figured it out when I brought you home with me. They say they get it. Mom said she’s seen my feelings for you a million times. Dad said that he wants us to be careful.”

“I think that’s wise. Sam and I...our marriage is over. He’s gone to see Brady to start the process. He and Jess…” She smiled. “He knows I have been seeing someone. I didn’t tell him. I should have but I didn’t want to have the conversation today. I know we had to do it but I wanted to wait until after the funeral.”

Dean pulled her closer. “I’m sorry, Nessa. I wish I could take this pain away from you.”

“I know you do, and I love you for that.” She closed her eyes and let herself get lost in his embrace. “Thank you, Dean.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He told her. “I know it’s been a long day already. Come inside. Let me get you something to eat. I’ll make you a bath and you can get some rest.”

Vanessa looked into his eyes. “Thank you.”

“You just said that.” He smiled at her. “I know that I can’t take the pain away.” His eyes filled with tears. “She was my niece and it hurts like hell. I feel like I have a hole in my heart and it may never be filled. I know this is hitting you so much harder. If it was Ben…”

“I know how much you loved her.” Vanessa smiled thinking about all the times Ana spoke of her uncle. “I know how much she loved you. You were her hero.”

“I don’t know about that.” Dean looked uncomfortable. “I mean, Sam…”

“She loved her dad but she looked up to you.” Vanessa took his hand. “I like your plan.”

Dean led her into the house. Neither saw the car parked at the end of the driveway. Neither saw her face or knew the pain she felt when she realized that once Sam learned his wife was in love with his brother he would never let Vanessa go without a fight.

~*~

“I want you to be careful.” Dean told Vanessa the next morning. “I don’t trust Brady.”

“Neither do it.” Vanessa felt sick to her stomach again. “Especially since he’s pushing this right now. It could wait until next week.”

“He doesn’t care. He never has.” Dean sighed. “I have some things to take care of. You have your key?” She nodded. “I’ll run to the store.”

“Thank you,” She kissed him softly. “Thank you for being here for me. I wouldn’t be able to handle any of this alone.”

“I love you,” Dean took her hands. “I’m not going to push anything. Burying Ana, your divorce, and Sam learning about us will take a toll. I’m just trying to make what I can easy.”

“You are doing so much more than you realize.” Vanessa kissed him again. “I need to shower. I need to be there in an hour and a half.”

Dean nodded. “I’ll be back soon.”

Vanessa rushed through her shower and grabbed a pair of jeans and simple tee shirt. She didn’t care about keeping up appearances anymore. She didn’t have to.

It took her only moments to finish getting ready and she grabbed her purse. She opened the door to see Jessica standing there with her hand up, ready to knock.   
  


“I know you’re about to meet Sam and Brady. I think we need to talk first.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Vanessa stared at the other woman, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to Dean yesterday and saw the two of you.” She pushed past Vanessa into the house. “You knew Sam was done, didn’t you? You knew and you wanted to find a way to make sure Sam wouldn’t leave you for good…”

“Not everything is about Sam, or you.” Vanessa slammed the door. “Why are you here?”

“Sam and I love each other, Vanessa. We should have been together years ago but he always went back to you.”

Vanessa put her hands on her hips. “He always went back to you, Jess. He came home to me because of Ana. He always left to go to you.”

“What about Dean?”

“Dean and I are none of your business.”

Jessica lost her temper. “That’s where you’re wrong! Sam is never going to accept that you fell in love with Dean! Dean and I had a one time thing and Sam lost it!” She saw the look on Vanessa’s face and smiled. “He never told you.”

“I didn’t think you’d bring it up.” Vanessa lied. She suspected that maybe at one time...Dean never told her and she never asked. Vanessa knew Dean had kept a lot of female companions over the years and she hadn’t bothered to ask for details.

“Sam loves his brother but he doesn’t like being second best to him. Sam will never accept that you and Dean are together because that means Dean bested him at something.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Vanessa walked to the door. “I have to leave.”

“You’re not telling Sam, are you?”

Vanessa sighed. “Eventually but not today, not this week. Brady is so damn impatient and wants to have this meeting today. I wanted to wait to even think about any of this until next week. I didn’t plan to tell Sam yet.”

“When do you plan to tell him?”

“Not right now.” Vanessa said. “I suggest that if you really think he’s going to want to stay with me to keep Dean from winning, you won’t say anything either.”

“I don’t plan to.” Jessica walked outside but turned around. “I know you, Vanessa. You’re not a liar or a sneak. I know that you love him. You wouldn’t be cheating on your husband if you weren’t in love with Dean. You don’t like hurting people…”

“Sam and I hurt each other, and Ana, staying together all these years. I do love him but I’m not in love with him anymore.” Vanessa stared into Jessica’s eyes. “I’ll tell Sam the truth. When I’m ready.”

“When will that be?”

Vanessa stared at her. “Are you even serious right now? Jessica, I won’t do it before next week. We need to get through all of this first.”

Jessica studied her for a few minutes before she turned and left. Vanessa took a second to compose herself and left the house. She knew it would take time for everything to settle down.

She also knew that she and Dean had to discuss whatever the hell he and Jessica had. One time or not, it was something Jessica was not likely to let them move past if Sam did decide he was going to fight Vanessa when he learned about her relationship with Dean.

~*~

Brady looked at Vanessa. “You don’t want anything?”

“Just my things. There’s a few things of Ana’s I’d like to keep, but I have my own money. I can start over just fine.”

Sam shifted uncomfortably. “You realize that by law, I should be…”

“You realize that I don’t give a flying fuck about the law right now, don’t you?” Vanessa was more shaken up than she was after Jessica’s visit. She passed a wreck on the way to the office involving a motorcycle and she had to pull over for several minutes to calm down. “I thought you’d wake until after the funeral before we had to deal with any of this!”

“Are you going to sign something saying that you won’t come after Sam later?” Brady asked.

“Of course!” Vanessa sighed. “How much longer is this going to take?”

“Why are you in such a rush?” Sam asked.

“I have to make sure things are ready. I also had a visit from Jessica this morning and drove past an accident that upset me. I’m tired, Sam. I have a lot on my mind and I wanted to start packing my things as soon as possible.”

“I can have the new papers drawn up by this afternoon. Would it be okay for me to bring them by the house?” Brady asked. Sam nodded.

Vanessa didn’t. “I’ll stop by here in the morning on my way to the florist.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I would be more comfortable with that.” She stood up. “Sam, I’ll call you later about some things your mother and I were discussing for the funeral.”

“Of course.” Sam watched her leave.

Brady shook his head. “You’ve finally wised up. She’s always been a bitch.”

“Watch it.” Sam warned.

“Sorry, man, but it’s true.” Brady looked at him. “You going to marry Jessica?”

Sam shook his head. “No. She knows that. She better anyway.”

“She who?”

“Jess. I love her but I’ve told her that a second marriage isn’t in the cards.”

Brady nodded. “Smart on your part. Vanessa’s never cared about the money or the house or any of that stuff. Jess will bankrupt you in a year.”

“Jess will never have the opportunity.” Sam stood. “Get the papers ready, please. Now. I’ll take them to Vanessa myself. If you can file them this afternoon or tomorrow morning, I would really appreciate that.”

~*~

Vanessa walked into the huge house she hated and looked around. Tell Dean about the house she rented, only a few miles from his lake house, had been difficult, but like always, he supported her. He understood that moving in together was not an option. They’d spend a good amount of time together, but Dean knew that for awhile, having their own spaces would be best.

She grabbed the notebook and post its from her bag and started going room to room, writing what was going and staying. Thanks to her Aunt, she already had the keys to her new house and would be able to start staying there the next day when utilities were turned on. It took only an hour to decide what she would take. Most downstairs were pictures, art she acquired on her own, and things she knew Sam would never need, want, or use.

It took only three hours total. She was throwing the last of her clothes in a suitcase when she saw him in the door. “Sam?”

“Brady had the papers ready so I brought them with me. You don’t have to sign them…”

“You’d appreciate it though, wouldn’t you?” Vanessa sighed. “You’re so anxious to marry Jess you’re going to push this?”

“It’s not that, Vanessa. Maybe moving on…”

“You’re right. Once Ana’s funeral is over, we will still see each other but it’ll be different.”

Sam nodded. “Mom said you are still part of the family.”

“Sam, you’ll always be a part of my family and have a place in my heart.” Vanessa looked down. “We should have done this years ago. I think we both know that.”

“Probably.” Sam looked around. “You need furniture?”

“I had some things I was going to ask you about. I have people coming to pack up things on Tuesday, but I asked your dad and Dean to help me get some things tomorrow morning.”

“Why?”

“I thought I’d start staying in my new place tomorrow night.” Vanessa picked her lip. “I think I’m going to need to be myself after the wake.”

Sam looked down. He was silent while she grabbed a few things she seemed to miss. “Nessa, I was wondering if maybe after the funeral, we could go to the lake together. I was thinking we could put flowers in the water for Ana. She always loved visiting Dean and she always loved the wild flowers…”

Vanessa stopped and turned toward Sam. She realized that he looked broken. “Sam?”

“I don’t know what to do, Vanessa. I miss her so much. I know that what we’re doing...most people wouldn’t file for divorce the same week…”

“Probably not. I don’t know what to do either, Sam, except what has to be done. I cry if I need to. I laugh when I remember little things here and there…”

“Do you remember that cat she tried to sneak into the house when she was seven?” Sam laughed. 

“Poor Dean knew before the rest of us! I felt awful because he was so miserable.”

Sam nodded. “Ana was sure that cat could live in her room and we’d never figure it out.”

They laughed a little bit more before Vanessa sighed and looked around. “I think this is it for today. I thought I’d take the bed in the guestroom, and the furniture in there. None of it is very old and I don’t think anyone has ever slept on that mattress.”

“Take anything you want. I don’t know how much I’ll want. Maybe one of your charities knows a place that might take some of this stuff.”

Vanessa nodded. “I was going to ask about some things. I know the women’s shelter could probably use a bit. I didn’t realize how many sets of different plates we actually have. I only really used the one.”

Sam laughed. “My grandma Millie kept sending us dishes, remember. She was a bit senile before she passed. She remembered our anniversary but never remembered she sent us dishes.”

“That’s right. Or mixing bowls. I’ll probably take a lot of the stuff in the kitchen, but there’s a lot that the shelter can use. I feel weird giving away gifts though. We never used them…”

“Don’t. I think that’s a better idea than each of us taking six or seven sets we won’t use.” 

She nodded and reached for the bags and one of the suitcases. “I’ll call you tomorrow. We need to go over some things for the wake.”

“Yeah, sure.” Sam walked over and took the bags. “I can help you. I know I’m a dick, but I can help you carry some things.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Vanessa wondered if this was the start of a new phase in their relationship. She wanted to eventually be friends with Sam. 

“I need to ask you something else. I asked Jess about going to see you. She said you were at Dean’s…”

“I figured no one would look for me there.”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense.” Sam didn’t want to think about what Jess implied. She had been angry when he told her to stay away from Vanessa. “Dean’s always looked out for you and Ana when I wasn’t here...hell, he did it when I was here.”

“He’s just giving me a place to stay until tomorrow.” Vanessa managed a small smile as they reached her car. “I’ll call tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you then.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

She took a deep breath before she walked into the room. Vanessa needed to calm her nerves. She woke up that morning sick to her stomach, knowing that by the end of the night, she would kiss her daughter one last time. She stayed sick all day, even while John and Dean helped her move things from the house. John told her that no one would blame her for postponing everything, but she knew that would make it even more difficult.

No one else was there. She deliberately told everyone else in the family to arrive twenty minutes later, even Sam. She knew it wasn’t fair, but Ana was her baby. Her only child. She needed time with her. 

The white casket was almost too much for her. Vanessa remembered people telling her that caskets looked like beds. She found her way to the front of the room without falling as she feared. She kneeled next to it and put her hand over Ana’s.

“My sweet baby.” Vanessa’s tears fell as she smiled. Ana looked so small. Mary managed to find a wig that was the same color as what hers had been before the nurses in France had to shave it for her surgery. Vanessa thought it would be too difficult for people, even those who knew, if they didn’t try and make Ana look as much like herself as they could.

“Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, and Uncle Dean are coming. So is Aunt Ellen.” Vanessa spoke softly. “So many people love you and they’re all coming to see you. I wasn’t going to do this because I knew it would be hard for everyone, but tomorrow is just family and close friends. Alex and Claire are coming tonight with Jody. They said they have something really special.” Vanessa shook her head. “I need to say things aloud, even if you don’t respond. I need to say words to you and that doesn’t seem fair. I get to tell you how much I love you one last time but you don’t get to talk back.”

She wiped her eyes. “I love you so much, Anastacia. You will always be my sweet, precious baby. I will always remember how much joy and happiness you brought into my life.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head and then her cheek. “Everyone will be here soon. I will come see you again before it’s time to leave.”

She stood as the doors were opened and Sam walked in. Vanessa’s mouth dropped when she saw Jessica at his side. John and Mary were behind them. Vanessa saw the grief in their faces, but she also saw the anger.

Dean was behind them with Ellen and Jody. Claire and Alex came in just after her. Vanessa approached Sam, shaking her head. 

“Are you really…”

“We’re getting divorced, remember?” Sam’s eyes were cold. Jessica smiled slightly. Vanessa wanted to grab her ex friend and strangle her. Vanessa looked down and walked to her place next to the casket. She wanted to be as close to Ana as she could for as long as she could. 

“Hey, Darling,” John pulled her in for a huge hug and kissed the top of her head. “You feel any better?” She shook her head, afraid to say anything. “If you need to get out of here, you let me know.”

Mary hugged her next and took her hand. “I’m staying by your side, Vanessa.” She leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I promised Dean. He said he loves you.”

Vanessa looked up and saw Dean’s eyes watching her. “Thank you.” She said to Mary, and to Dean. He gave a very subtle nod before he stepped up to see Ana. Vanessa knew immediately that he was close to losing it. They talked the night before about Ana and told each other stories the other hadn’t heard.

Vanessa was watching Dean still when she heard, “Are you okay, Dad?” and looked past him. His son, Ben, was there. Dean nodded and patted his son’s shoulder. Ben looked down at his cousin in disbelief. He stepped to the side and saw Vanessa. 

“Hey, Aunt Vanessa.”

“It’s good to see you, Ben.” Vanessa smiled at him. “When did you get in?”

“About an hour ago. I didn’t want to say anything about coming just in case I couldn’t. My mom said to tell you hi and she’s thinking of you.”

“Thank you, Ben. Please tell Lisa thank you for me.” Vanessa saw Dean behind him.

He gave her a hug and whispered. “I love you,” as softly as he could. 

“Love you,” Vanessa whispered. “Thank you.”

Dean squeezed her hand. “I’ll be close if you need anything.”

“I appreciate that.” Vanessa saw Jessica watching them. “Thank you.”

It took another two hours before it was time to sit and begin the rosary. Vanessa and Sam weren’t deeply religious, but Mary asked for a Catholic wake. Vanessa sat between Dean and Mary, her eyes straight ahead on her daughter. She knew people were talking. Sam was there with his girlfriend. Many were asking if Sam and Vanessa split before Ana’s accident. No one dared say anything to Vanessa directly, but she heard whispers as people passed.

Dean gently nudged her leg. He wanted to take her in his arms but he knew that no one was ready for that. He wanted to punch his brother for coming with Jessica, but he knew he couldn’t. He was having an affair with his brother’s wife. He was sitting next to her. He had been by her side as much as possible the last few days.

He hadn’t walked into the wake holding her hand though.

Once the rosary was finished, Vanessa stood and thanked the priest. She took her place next to Ana and kept her eyes on her daughter the rest of the evening.

“Nessa,” Mary touched her shoulders. “Everyone’s gone.”

“Wh...what?” She looked around. “Oh.”

John stepped up to the casket and kissed Ana’s forehead. “I’ll miss you, Babygirl. I love you.”

Mary took a deep breath and kissed the same spot. “I love you, Ana.”

Ben stepped up and whispered something with a smile. He touched her hand and moved aside for his father. Dean wiped his eyes and kissed her cheek. 

“I love you, Kiddo. I’ll see you again one day.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. 

Jessica whispered something to Sam and left. Mary and John exchanged a look as she slammed the door behind her. Sam kneeled next to his daughter and whispered in French. Ana and Sam learned French together two years before and often spoke it to each other in the house. Neither realized Vanessa spoke French also and she never let them know. Sam kissed her daughter one last time and stood.

“I’ll see all of you tomorrow.” He looked at Vanessa. “You’ll be able to get home?”

“We’ll make sure she does.” Mary told him.

Sam left and Vanessa realized that everyone was waiting for her. She saw Mary and John walk away with Ben, but Dean stayed close.

She looked at her daughter and fought her tears. “I don’t know how to do this, Anastacia. I don’t know how I’m going to do this.” She knew this was the last time she would ever see her daughter. She had thousands of pictures, but it would never be the same. “Oh, Baby, I’m so sorry.” She kissed her cheek. “I love you so much.” The tears she had been fighting all night began to fall. “Oh, God, Ana!” She cried.

“Hey,” Dean was next to her in seconds. Mary rushed back to them. “Sweetheart…”

“I can’t...I…” She felt sick and dizzy. “I…”

“Sit down,” Mary ordered. She saw the man from the funeral home watching and motioned to John to stall him. “I am so sorry, Vanessa. This is something no mother should ever have to suffer.”

“I don’t want to leave! I’ll never get to see her again! I’ll never touch her face or kiss the top of her head when she’s asleep.” Vanessa leaned into Dean. “My baby is gone!”

“Hey,” Dean lifted her chin. “I don’t want to leave her either. I’m sorry, Sweetheart.” He kissed the top of her head. “I wish I could take all the pain you feel right now away.”

Vanessa cried for several more minutes before she was able to calm herself down. She slowly stood and walked to the casket. 

“I’m so sorry, Ana.” She kissed her again. “It’s time for us to go. I don’t want to but I have to.” She kissed her one last time. “Goodnight, Sweetheart. I love you so very much.” She lingered for only a minute and then touched Ana’s cheek one last time before she turned and allowed Dean and Mary to lead her away. John had the ladies’ purses, and Ben looked on, confused. No one told him that Aunt Vanessa and Uncle Sam weren’t together. No one told him that Jessica and Uncle Sam were together.

And his father never mentioned that he was in love with his sister in law.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

“Thank you for coming.” Vanessa wondered if anyone thought she sounded sincere. Sam stood next to her, but it was obvious that he didn’t see her. Jessica was in the back, watching, waiting for a chance to get Sam away from everyone.

The house was soon empty and Vanessa slammed the door. “We’ll give it a few minutes and I’ll leave first.”

“Nessa?” Sam seemed surprised by the cool tone she used. “What’s wrong?”

“You brought a date to our daughter’s funeral. You allowed that whore…”

“Watch your mouth.” Sam snapped.

“Go to Hell!” Vanessa screamed. “I hate you!” She attacked him with her fists, pounding on his chest. “I hate you!”

“Stop her!” Jessica cried. She looked at Dean. “Grab her!”

“Stay back,” John stepped in front of her. “If you get any closer, none of us are going to stop Vanessa from turning her anger onto you.”

“I hate you!” Vanessa pounded on Sam’s chest. “I…” she collapsed against him.

Sam realized immediately something was wrong. “Vanessa? Nessa?...She’s passed out!”

Jessica rolled her eyes, but the Winchesters moved quickly. Dean took her from his brother without thinking. Sam watched his brother and he knew. He understood.

His brother and his wife fell in love with each other.

~*~

“You need fluids.” The nurse argued with Vanessa.

“I need you to bring me the forms. Sam Winchester and I are getting divorced. He is not my next of kin and he shouldn’t be allowed to make any decisions for me!”

“And who should?” The nurse asked.

“Mary Winchester.” Vanessa recognized the nurse. “You dated Dean.”

“For about five minutes.” She said. “Biggest regret of my life was letting him get away.” The nurse took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I can’t do anything about the paperwork. Sam insisted everything brought to him immediately. He’s signed everything.”

“The doctor has to come in here. I can tell him that I don’t want my medical information shared…” Vanessa saw her face. “Gabriel’s here, isn’t he?”

“I’m sorry.”

Vanessa knew that Sam would have the results of every test performed that afternoon soon, if he didn’t already. “Great.”

“I can get the Winchesters. Mary and John are waiting down the hall. Dean and his son went to get coffee for everyone.”

Vanessa nodded. “Thank you. That would be great.”

~*~

“When did it happen?”

“What?” Dean looked at Ben. “What are you talking about?”

“You and Aunt Nessa. I’m not judging at all. She’s amazing and Uncle Sam has never been a great husband to her. I’m just curious if this is new or if it’s even really a thing…”

“I’ve loved her for a very long time, Son. Nothing happened until this summer. We knew we were going to have to sit and figure it out before Sam and Ana came home. They’re getting divorced but we can’t rush anything. Vanessa may decide she doesn’t want to be with me.”

“Is there any chance they might get back together?” Ben asked.

Dean shook his head. “No. I don’t think so. Even if he gave up Jessica, Vanessa knows they don’t have a marriage.”

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Ben smiled at his father. “I think Aunt Vanessa’s the perfect woman for you and I think Ana would have accepted it.”

“You think so?”

“You know, she thought you were her dad for a long time.”

~*~

“It shouldn’t take this long to get test results back.” Vanessa was anxious to go home. “I’m getting dressed. My daughter died. I planned a funeral and signed divorce papers. I was upset and I passed out from excitement.”

“I’m sure that’s it, Sweetheart, but we need to make sure.” Mary had her own suspicions. “I’m sure the doctor will be in soon.” 

“I hope so.” Vanessa sighed. “I’m sure he giving Sam all the results first though.”

~*~

“So, Buddy.” Gabriel Shurley looked at his old friend. “What the hell are you going to do?”

“Nothing. I’ve filed for divorce. We haven’t sold the house yet. We’ll stay there for now.”

“Sam, Vanessa is pregnant.”

Sam nodded. “I saw the test results.”

“Isn’t she going to know that you aren’t the father?” Gabriel stared at him. “Either that or she’s going to think you lied about…”

“She doesn’t know.” Sam smiled. “She never needed to know. Tell her she got pregnant in May. We actually sleep together a few times before I went to France…”

“I can’t do that without an ultrasound, Sam.” 

“Put her in a room overnight. You do the ultrasound in the morning and tell her she got pregnant in May. Vanessa will be in shock because it hasn’t happened. She’ll believe this is a gift from Ana.”

Gabriel sighed. “And what do you plan to do? What about Jess?”

Sam smiled. “I have this entire situation under control.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

A thought crossed Vanessa’s mind, but she knew that wasn’t possible. Gabriel popped in the night before and said that some of her tests were inconclusive. He wanted her to stay overnight, get some more fluids, rest, and they would have the second round of results by eight AM. It was nine and she was ready to go. 

“I brought you breakfast.” Sam opened the door.

“Leave.”

“Vanessa, we aren’t divorced yet. I thought we were going to attempt to be civil.”

“I’m sorry but your BFF is keeping me in the hospital for his own personal amusement.” Vanessa made a face. “That smells awful.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Sam smiled. “I didn’t think it would bother you. You wanted it all the time with Ana…”

“What?”

“Gabriel hasn’t come in yet?”

Vanessa shook her head. “No, and I’m really irritated. Sam, we aren’t married anymore. Not really. You have no reason to be here.”

“Actually,” He moved next to her. “I do.”

“What do you…”

“You’re pregnant, Vanessa. You must have gotten pregnant before I went to France.”

The color drained from her face. Cancer, anemia, and a few medical conditions in her family history had come to mind. Pregnancy was never a thought. “That’s not possible…”

“Yes it is!” Sam took her hands. She pulled away, but he reached for her again. “Baby, we have a chance.”

“I told you there’s someone else. I slept with him, Sam. This could be his child.”

“I mentioned that to Gabriel but he seemed certain that you got pregnant in May.” 

Vanessa shook her head. “He can’t be certain of anything, Sam! I haven’t had an ultrasound.”

Sam smiled. “You will. This morning.”

Vanessa shook her head. “I don’t think you should get your hopes up.” She dared to touch his cheek. “I don’t think I’m having your baby.”

“You are.” Sam smiled. “I know you are.”

~*~

Dean stood outside the door as Gabriel discussed the ultrasound. He heard the words that sealed their fate.

“Congratulations, Poppa. You knocked up the misses sometime around the twelfth of May.”

Dean and Vanessa didn’t sleep together until the second week of June. 

He wasn’t the father of her baby.

“Don’t cry, Vanessa. We’re having a baby! Ana knew we needed another child.”

“I…”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Sam saw his brother watching from outside the door. Sam’s face changed and Dean understood.

Sam knew.

Sam knew about their affair.

“It’s over with Jessica and you’ll tell your friend the same. We’ll work this out. We’ll make things work for us and for our baby.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Three months later, Vanessa felt stronger, but she felt trapped. Sam agreed to let her keep the other house so she could have a place to write. She hadn’t written in years but confessed about two weeks after the funeral that she’d started again. He never went with her. He always asked that she was home by five every night for dinner.

Vanessa sat at the water with her notebook, making some notes for the story. She stared out as a small boat passed. A man and a little girl were laughing as she tried to cast her fishing line. Vanessa remembered when Dean attempted to teach Ana to fish years before.

Her phone beeped and she assumed it was Sam. He kept his word. He was home by five most nights, barely went out, and kept his weekend meetings short. He also cut her off from his family. They saw his parents, but Dean never showed anywhere. Ben moved back and often came with his grandparents, but she never asked about his father. Sam never knew about the affair and Vanessa didn’t want him to find out. She was no longer in love with her husband and she resented that he was able to stop their divorce, but she was willing to try and give her child a happy life with him.

She heard another beep and grabbed her phone. Sam wanted her to know that he had a dinner he wasn’t able to get out of. She was relieved. She didn’t want to sit through another awkwardly silent dinner only to say an awkward goodnight and go to the guest room she was now using. He wasn’t pushing her to sleep in their room. She told him she wasn’t ready for that.

Vanessa sent a quick text and told him she was going to pick dinner up for herself and continue writing for a few hours. Twenty minutes later, she decided to take a break for the night. She wanted a burger, a shake, and to walk downtown and look in a few shops. Sam knew nothing about the money her aunt helped her obtain. He knew nothing about the freelance writing she did for the first month she spent writing at the house. He knew nothing about the book she was writing or that she was getting an advance based on a draft she wrote ten years earlier. Vanessa wanted to decorate her lake house. She thought it would be a temporary place to settle herself before moving on with Dean. Now, she knew it was her private sanctuary. She would be able to take her baby there and spend time with him or her in a way she never could with Ana.

She decided to ask Mary to meet her. Her mother in law was thrilled with the invitation. After their burgers and shakes, Mary went in and out of all the shops Vanessa had missed visiting the last three months. 

“I’ve wanted to come see you at the lake, but I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

“You and John are always welcome.” Vanessa told her. “I just need a place to get away from Sam.”

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you wanted them too.” Mary led her to bench. “He misses you.”

“I miss him.” Vanessa looked down. “Every single day. I prayed during the ultrasound that the baby was his. I prayed that once I had my appointment with Kali, she’d tell me that Gabriel was wrong.”

“So did I.” Mary confessed. “I don’t approve of cheating and I know how much this would hurt the boys’ already strained relationship, but I know you and Dean were happy together. I know you love him.”

“I’m married to Sam.” Vanessa sighed. “I really need some maternity clothes. I wonder if Rowena’s shop might have something.”

“I think that’s a great idea. I know she had some really cute baby clothes a few weeks ago but I didn’t want to get anything since you’ve insisted on waiting to find out…” Mary stopped.

“What? What is it?” Vanessa looked up as Jessica stepped from a limousine in front of one of the nicest hotels in town. She was wearing a very expensive designer gown from New York City with shoes that cost almost as much as the dress. Vanessa knew the exact costs of the dress and the shoes because she bought both for herself seven months earlier.

“She’s wearing my dress.” Vanessa said. “It still had tags on it.”

“Nessa, sweetheart, let’s go.” Mary was sure that Jessica had taken up with someone else. Jessica had free reign of their home for a very long time and probably took the dress during one of her visits and forgot to sneak it back into Vanessa’s closet. She did that many times over the years.

“I don’t want to see her.” Vanessa agreed. “Let’s go and get some…” She froze. “He’s with her.”

Mary told John later that she wasn’t as surprised as she should have been. “Vanessa, let’s go, sweetheart. Come on.”

“I need to go back to the house.” Vanessa said. “I need…Sam swore to me this was over. He swore that he would never see her again.”

“I know.” Mary’s anger was building up, but she knew she needed to get her daughter in law home. “Let me drive you home.”

“I need my car.” Vanessa hugged her. “I promise, I’ll be okay. I’m going to wait for Sam and we’re going to discuss this calmly.”

“Are you?” Mary asked. 

Vanessa nodded. “We have to. We don’t have a choice.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

Sam knew it was late. He lost track of time. He hadn’t been able to take Jessica out in months and a friend offered him a private balcony for dining that evening. He knew Jessica had not seen the white dress or shoes in Vanessa’s closet. He smiled thinking about Jessica’s reaction to the price tags. Vanessa’s tastes weren’t expensive but she was supposed to wear the dress to the wedding of a client and Sam insisted she spend a small fortune. Of course, the wedding was cancelled and Vanessa never had a chance to wear the dress. 

It worked out for Jessica.

He stumbled in the front door and saw her sitting on the stairs. “Vanessa? It’s late.”

“You were with Jessica tonight. She was wearing the white dress I bought for the Kilpatrick wedding. She wears a size larger than me, in dresses and shoes.” Vanessa stood up. “Don’t tell me tonight was the only time you’ve seen her. I know better.”

“I meet her for lunch.” Sam was drunk. He knew he couldn’t lie to Vanessa. Someone must have seen him. He knew they should have made the reservation later. “I’m sorry but I love her.”

“I loved him but I haven’t spoken to him. I haven’t called him. I haven’t seen him. I didn’t tell him goodbye.”

“My brother is smarter than I am. He knew it would be better to walk away than to try and pretend…”

Vanessa swallowed. “You knew?”

“I figured it out after you had the first ultrasound. Dean was waiting in the hall. I saw the look on his face. Things came together. My whore wife and my big brother…”

“Don’t say that about me! I was wrong and I shouldn’t have done anything with Dean no matter my feelings, but I am not a whore.”

“It doesn’t matter, really.” Sam sighed and threw himself in a chair in the front hall. “I should have just let you go. We don’t belong together. We aren’t happy together. Ana was the brightest spot in our lives and once she...I shouldn’t have tried to force this.”

“Why did you?”

“I don’t know. I know what Jessica wants. I know I can give her that.”

“I want you to be happy.” Vanessa told him. “Whatever Dean and I had, it’s over. He has stayed away, I’ve stayed away. You love her. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be sneaking around.”

“It really is that simple. We could both go to them. It’s not like we’re married anymore…”

Vanessa stared at him. “Sam?”

“I didn’t stop the divorce, Vanessa. It’s final.”

“You…” Vanessa shook her head. “Don’t you think that’s something I needed to know?”

“Not until you had the baby. I was going to take the baby from you and give him or her to Jess.” Sam smiled. “I knew right away the baby wasn’t mine.”

“The baby isn’t..” She shook her head. “Sam?”

“I had a vasectomy. Jessica has had health concerns. Pregnancy could kill her. No doctor would agree to tying her tubes when she was younger because they were all convinced that her doctor was wrong. I didn’t want to take that chance.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I paid Kali to lie to you. I pushed Gabriel.” Sam smiled. “I was going to take my brother’s baby and give him or her to Jessica. No one would ever know that we were rearing Dean’s child.”

“Dean’s baby…” Vanessa smiled.

“Don’t think about calling him, Vanessa. I’ll ruin him.”

“I don’t think you will.” Vanessa shook her head. “You had two doctors lie to me about my pregnancy. You’ve been sneaking around with Jessica, lying to me. We’re divorced and you’ve…” She took a deep breath. “Go to sleep, Sam. There’s nothing left to say.”

“He won’t want you. He won’t believe that’s his baby.”

“I don’t care.” Vanessa said. “I don’t care. I don’t need you or him. I have me. I have my baby. I’ll be just fine.”

Sam rolled over the next morning and shot out of bed. He remembered the conversation with Vanessa the night before. He remembered his confessions. 

“Shit!” Sam knew if she wanted to go after him, she could. She could take him, Jess, Gabriel, and Kali down. “No, no, no!” Sam jumped up and reached for a pair of jeans. He saw the note then.

_ Don’t worry. I won’t say a word. I’ve removed everything I own from this house. I loved you, Darling. Goodbye. _

Sam stared at the letter. He couldn’t believe how much weight he felt lifted from his shoulders. A smile grew on his face. He could give Jessica the life she wanted. He could give her everything she deserved.

He raced to her house and let himself in. “Jess! Jessica!”

He opened her bedroom door to the biggest surprise of his life.

“Sam!” Brady jumped up. “I...I”

“What the hell is going on?”

Jessica shrugged. “Brady and I spend time together when you can’t be bothered.”

“Things have changed.” Sam told her. “It’s over. Vanessa’s gone. She moved out. She knows everything. She knows we’re divorced. She knows the baby isn’t mine. I don’t have to live a lie anymore.”

“Vanessa called me this morning.” Brady said as he pulled his pants up. “She wants copies of the divorce decree.”

“She called you while you were here?” Sam asked.

Brady shook his head. “Before I came over.”

“You came over here to see if Sam was here, or to make sure he caught us, didn’t you?” Jessica grew angry. “Leave.”

Brady laughed. “With pleasure. It’s not going to be much fun if Sam knows.”

“What an asshole.” Jessica lit a cigarette. She saw Sam’s face. “What?”

“You’ve been sleeping with him?”

“And? You were still sleeping with Vanessa. Apparently in May when you told me you hadn’t touched her in a year.”

“You really believed that.” Sam asked. “I realized this morning that I can give you all the things you want and deserve but I don’t know if it’s what I want anymore. I love you. I have loved you for a very long time. I didn’t put enough into my marriage because of how I feel about you. I was going to give you a baby you said you wanted. I was going to give you a mansion and cars and clothes…”

“Give me all of that.”

“And let you keep sleeping with Brady?”

“Are you going to stop sleeping with Ruby? Madison? Amelia?”

“I already did.” Sam told her. “A year ago when I told you that I was going to find a way to end my marriage.” He broke down. “I’ve lost everything. My daughter, my wife, you...I screwed up. I played a game that I couldn’t win and I’ve lost it all.”

Jessica moved next to him and craddled him in his arms. “You have me, Sam. You’ll always have me.” She smiled to herself. Sam was so easy to manipulate. “We’ll always each other and the best the world has to offer.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BTZ Bingo Square filled - Second Love

Chapter Sixteen

Vanessa’s life changed the morning after Sam’s confessions. She went to her lake house knowing she would stay there. She touched her stomach and thought of the baby she was carrying. Dean’s baby. She knew she had to call him, but she knew she needed time to figure things out. 

Sam stopped by once, to apologize and give her a check for her half of the house.

“It’s law. I have to give you half.” He lied. He and Jessica were living there. Jessica loved the house and wanted to redecorate. Sam promised Vanessa that he would never hurt her or Dean. Vanessa saw that Sam was different. She learned from Mary that Jessica was sleeping with three other men but Sam never threw her out.

Dean was traveling with Ben. Vanessa was happy he had the time with his son. She drove by his place several times, but the Impala was never there. Sam and Vanessa went to his parents together and told them everything. Vanessa begged them to hear Sam out. She left when she realized that Sam needed his parents to hear him for once. She knew from Mary that things were getting better and they were hoping he would eventually let Jessica go for good.

Vanessa decided to drive by Dean’s house one night, just to see it. He wasn’t back yet and her heart sank. She missed him. She laughed when she felt the baby kicking. His daughter missed him too. 

Vanessa walked to the water and sat down. She stared into the lake and remembered so many things, good and bad. She remembered the first time that she realized her feelings for Dean were different. She remembered the first time she and Dean took Ana swimming. She remembered Ana and Dean having races in the water, family barbeques, holidays, and special occasions. 

She remembered the first time Sam hurt her. She remembered fighting with Ana about a bikini Jessica bought her for her birthday. She remembered how often she and Ana came without Sam because he was too busy, out of the country, or probably with another woman. Vanessa took a deep breath. Whatever happened from that moment on, the memories of the past would stay there. Some she’d think of often, some she’d never discuss. It was time to make new memories. It was time for her to start fresh.

“What are you doing down here?”

She turned at the sound of his voice. “I wanted…” She was trying to get up.

Dean assisted Vanessa to her feet. “Sam shouldn’t let you out alone this far along.”

“I’m only twenty five weeks, Dean.” Vanessa saw his face. “I’ve been driving by for weeks hoping you were home. I’m really glad you and Ben had some time together though.”

“Me too.” Dean smiled. “He’s a great man. My son is pretty amazing.”

“He takes after his Dad.”

“Vanessa, you can’t be here. You and my brother…”

“Are divorced.” She had the papers with her to prove it. “Sam lied to me. He lied to everyone. He had Gabriel and Kali lie to me. Dean, this is our baby.” Vanessa told him. “Sam was angry and he was going to take the baby and give her to Jessica. Jess can’t have kids. I thought she’d taken care of it years ago but apparently not. Sam did instead. Sam knew as soon as Gabriel told him I was pregnant that he wasn’t the father. He said you were there when I had my first ultrasound. He said that he knew then you were the man I fell in love with.” Vanessa bit her lip. “I didn’t want to walk away from you but I knew that if I was having his baby, we couldn’t be together…”

“I was going to tell him the truth. Mom and Dad said they’d stay with you and make sure he couldn’t get to you. When I heard Gabriel say when you got pregnant, every dream I have had since the first night we were together disappeared. I knew I could never be around you again. I wouldn’t be able to..” He wiped his eyes. “Vanessa, I’ve been looking into houses away from here.”

“Dean?”

“I didn’t want to run into you and the baby. I knew I couldn’t avoid holidays. I can’t be around you without wanting to be with you.” Dean was in front of her in seconds. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Vanessa cried. “We can be together.”

“Can we?” Dean asked. “Do you really think Sam is going to…”

“He and Jessica are living together in the house. I don’t know if they’ll last, but I know it’s over with him. There’s no going back. Anastacia was the happiest part of that relationship. Had I been smart all those years ago, I’d have gone after the brother I was crushing on first.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I think I would have still had Ana.”

Dean pushed a piece of hair from her eyes. “Sweetheart, I can’t go back and forth. I love you but…”

“You’re scared. I am too. I love you so much more than I thought possible to love a man. I am scared because I know we didn’t start under the best circumstances and I’m terrified you are going to question whether I’m faithful to you or not. I’m scared that you’re going to doubt how much I love you.”

“Nessa,” Dean bit his lip. “I don’t doubt you. I don’t doubt us. I’m scared because I let myself go there with three women. Lisa, Jo, and you. I got burned bad the first two times. I walked away from you…”

“I didn’t try and…”

“Because you knew I wouldn’t answer, didn’t you?” She nodded. “You knew that if Sam found out, he’d threaten to do something or he probably already did…” She nodded again. Dean cupped her face. “I love you and I want to marry you.” She laughed through her tears. “Ben told me to come home and go get you.”

“Call and tell him that I came home.” She kissed him softly. “I’m home, Dean.”

“Yeah, you are.” He whispered. “This is our second chance.”

“Thank you for taking it with me.” Vanessa let him lead her back to the lake house. There was a time when Vanessa was willing to settle for what she had, for the sake of her daughter. She was glad that she took a chance and allowed herself the opportunity to fall in love with Dean. Their baby would never replace the daughter she lost, but their love would overshadow the loneliness and heartache she suffered in her marriage. Vanessa believed Ana would be proud of them. She was sure that her daughter would already have their wedding and honeymoon completely planned.

“What’s so funny?” Dean asked.

“Nothing.” She’d tell him later. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Dean opened the door. “Let’s get this second chance started. There’s a lot of time we have to make up.”


End file.
